I have severe Crohn's disease and I'm going through quite a journey. I've stopped responding to conventional treatments and here's my story as I try to find a way to get my life back!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Destressing
i started doing yoga today. i'm doing some for weight loss and some for anxiety reduction. i think its really going to help. especially out here in the desert..maybe i'll go to the park and watch the mountains while i meditate. I was in a lot of pain today and i think meditating helped relieve a little of that..
computer keeps locking up..guess i'll get back to this later
computer keeps locking up..guess i'll get back to this later
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Empathy
i read in "tuesdays with morrie" that when you are suffering through something you tend to notice others suffering too and you genuinely care for them, even complete strangers. and this is true. ever since i got sick, i feel for others in a way id never really done before. i cant even watch the news because it makes me cry lol. but i think we all need to feel that way because we all need each other in the world..we cant get through life without others..even strangers..even if all they can do for one another is pray.
Friday, February 24, 2012
In Cali
its my first week in yucca valley, ca with jon. things were looking good the last couple of days. i went to get more things for the house today...like food..and the debit card got declined..hoping its just a safety freeze because we spent so much the last few days but jon's phones off and he is at work so i cant get ahold of him to call about it. its kind of frustrating..just when things are going great something has to happen to squash it. to top it off im so sick today. i was up all night with like my left side and back and kidney area killing me and now im so sick to my stomach. sometimes i just wish i could curl up in a ball and sleep my life away, i get so frustrated lately with everything..hopefully ill catch some kind of break soon. wish i had my family with me right now.
still havent heard from northwestern..would love some info. this sitting and waiting thing is making it hard to stay in good spirits.
still havent heard from northwestern..would love some info. this sitting and waiting thing is making it hard to stay in good spirits.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
life is all about risks...
i went to the doctor one more time before i leave for california for a while. we are trying vancomycin again for the c diff since my symptoms are still here despite the test being negative..sometimes c diff tests give false negatives ive heard. after some phone calls and the pharmacy talkin to the insurance company they gave me vancocin..which is in tablet form, not liquid like the kind i had before so we will see how it works..but rather than over $1000, it only cost $12...blessing! the dr and i discussed that i may very well have both crohns and ulcerative colitis. the depth of the ulcers and the inflammation and blood tests suggest crohns. the location of the disease and the absence of some type of something they look for with crohns..suggests ulcerative colitis..so who knows. lets hope northwestern can give me answers soon.
im leavin for cali on monday. im having a lot of mixed feelings and anxiety about the trip..i think because im gonna miss my family so much. pray that i can keep my emotions in check lol and that takin Lady, my cat, will be stress free.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Need advice
i finished the book "The Chair" today. couldnt put it down til it was done.it was so good. i definitely recommend everyone reading it..it was an awesome combination of inspiration and suspense..kept me guessing which i love..its no fun when its predictable. i wish life was like that. i think id prefer it if life was a little more predictable..i hate not knowing. im still waiting to hear from Jon, he always avoids talking to people if he feels he has to confront his own behavior or has to discuss his future& what he has to do..or if its not when HE feels like talking..kind of annoying when people cant see that its not all about themselves all the time. part of life is doing something that may be uncomfortable or on someone elses time in order to keep healthy relationships. unfortunately some people will grow old or die alone because they only see this world as their world..not OUR world. the book i just finished was also about relationships with each other so its suiting that im experiencing some of what the theme of my book was.
as for my health, today was just another day..the c diff is still hitting me strong so im staying nauseas and in pain but it could be worse. i pretty much have bad days and worse days and every now and then a good minute or two. so i would categorize today as a bad day,not a worse one.
as for my health, today was just another day..the c diff is still hitting me strong so im staying nauseas and in pain but it could be worse. i pretty much have bad days and worse days and every now and then a good minute or two. so i would categorize today as a bad day,not a worse one.
blogging app mishap
i couldnt sleep again..woke up around 7am and downloaded a blogging app and while ican see my blog i cant seem to get it linked to the app properly..anyone know how to do this stuff??
im going to california to see my husband for a while. i leave next monday.im nervous though..nothing is set up.we dont even have water and i have to be in a sterile environment so im wondering whether jons going to step up and get it together for me. i feel pretty alone in this journey with him. i cant even seem to get him on the phone. its pretty disappointing but ive had bigger disappointments with men before..i think its another plight of womanhood.lol i know i ask for alot of prayers but im asking again..im not sure he sees that he has a family now& isnt living just for himself anymore. i want god to be in his heart and guide him in everything he does. guidance would be good for him..am i wrong?
i would love to know if youre reading the blog so please leave comments
id love to hear your advice,feedback, opinions anad prayer requests so i can return the favor of your support! also, please share my blog with others..especially if you know someone with crohn's disease or someone who is going through a rough time. im going to really get into my blog and plan to share alot of inspirational info! thanks you!
im going to california to see my husband for a while. i leave next monday.im nervous though..nothing is set up.we dont even have water and i have to be in a sterile environment so im wondering whether jons going to step up and get it together for me. i feel pretty alone in this journey with him. i cant even seem to get him on the phone. its pretty disappointing but ive had bigger disappointments with men before..i think its another plight of womanhood.lol i know i ask for alot of prayers but im asking again..im not sure he sees that he has a family now& isnt living just for himself anymore. i want god to be in his heart and guide him in everything he does. guidance would be good for him..am i wrong?
i would love to know if youre reading the blog so please leave comments
id love to hear your advice,feedback, opinions anad prayer requests so i can return the favor of your support! also, please share my blog with others..especially if you know someone with crohn's disease or someone who is going through a rough time. im going to really get into my blog and plan to share alot of inspirational info! thanks you!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Aloe Juice?
My uncle came to me the other day and told me about an article in the newspaper about a man who drank aloe juice for his acid reflux and intestinal ulcers...both of which i have...it completely healed him..so I'm doing research and I'm going to post some info here and then I'm off to try it myself. Even if it offers the slightest relief it's worth it..so let's see!
So it looks like to me, aloe juice is good for Crohn's patients with a mild case or who have constipation. However, someone in my position, it might cause me more pain...so i'm going to do more research and maybe try just the lowest dose and see if it'll help with my acid reflux or ulcers without interferring with the worst of my Crohn's symptoms...we'll see!
- Aloe juice has anti-inflammatory properties that not only work to effectively treat Crohn's disease but also ensure soft stools. The University of Maryland Medical Center notes that aloe contains glycoproteins and polysaccharides, substances that help reduce healing time, diminish pain and inflammation and support skin growth. In theory, when ingested, these compounds should help heal the inner lining of the intestines and digestive tract.
The cells of the intestines are the fastest growing cells in the body (replaced every 4 days or so) so they have to be continually replenished to maintain the immunity barrier.The main fuel they need is the amino acid I-glutamine; we do not get much of this in our diet. Aloe Vera contains this substance thereby enhancing the ability of cell regeneration.- Aloe Vera contains over 200 nutrients - Vitamins, minerals, amino acids and enzymes essential for keeping your body in good working order. These nutrients are in a natural and synergic form which are easily metabolised in the human body to promote good health.
- Aloe vera juice can be excellent for easing many digestive problems, ranging from indigestion to irritable bowel syndrome. The main reason for this is that it's an excellent anti-inflammatory.
However, patients who have Crohn's disease should use extreme caution when using aloe vera internally. - Use it with caution. Since aloe vera can have a laxative effect, it is not recommended for Crohn's sufferers who are prone to diarrhea or frequent bowel movements.
- Boost the immune system. Aloe is a powerful immune booster; however, those with Crohn's already have an overactive immune system and taking it can cause increase symptoms of Crohn's disease. Monitor your symptoms if taking aloe vera and discontinue use if symptoms increase.
- Take aloe vera juice orally. Many with Crohn's find that it's best to use the lowest dose that works. If you are experiencing increased symptoms or diarrhea, stop using it immediately. Aloe vera should always be taken according to the instructions and Crohn's patients should be especially careful not to overuse
- Talk to your doctor before taking aloe vera. Always tell your gastroenterologist about all vitamins, herbs or alternative methods you are using. Not only can some be harmful to Crohn's disease, but may also interfere with medication you may be taking for your Crohn's.
So it looks like to me, aloe juice is good for Crohn's patients with a mild case or who have constipation. However, someone in my position, it might cause me more pain...so i'm going to do more research and maybe try just the lowest dose and see if it'll help with my acid reflux or ulcers without interferring with the worst of my Crohn's symptoms...we'll see!
Information About Crohn's
This is for my family and friends who want to know a little more about Crohn's disease:
Definition:
Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum (anus).
Cause:
While the exact cause of Crohn's disease is unknown, the condition is linked to a problem with the body's immune system response.
Normally, the immune system helps protect the body, but with Crohn's disease the immune system can't tell the difference between normal body tissue and foreign substances. The result is an overactive immune response that leads to chronic inflammation. This is called an autoimmune disorder.
A person's genes and environmental factors seem to play a role in the development of Crohn's disease. The body may be overreacting to normal bacteria in the intestines
Symptoms:
Treatment:
No specific diet has been shown to improve or worsen symptoms in Crohn's disease. Specific food problems may vary from person to person.
Certain types of foods may worsen diarrhea and gas symptoms. The problem is more likely during periods when symptoms are present. Possible changes you can make to your diet include:
Medicines that may be prescribed include:
Definition:
Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum (anus).
Cause:
While the exact cause of Crohn's disease is unknown, the condition is linked to a problem with the body's immune system response.
Normally, the immune system helps protect the body, but with Crohn's disease the immune system can't tell the difference between normal body tissue and foreign substances. The result is an overactive immune response that leads to chronic inflammation. This is called an autoimmune disorder.
A person's genes and environmental factors seem to play a role in the development of Crohn's disease. The body may be overreacting to normal bacteria in the intestines
Symptoms:
- Crampy abdominal (belly area) pain
- Fever
- Fatigue
- Loss of appetite
- Pain with passing stool (tenesmus)
- Persistent, watery diarrhea
- Unintentional weight loss
- Constipation
- Eye inflammation
- Fistulas (usually around the rectal area, may cause draining of pus, mucus, or stools)
- Joint pain
- Liver inflammation
- Mouth ulcers
- Rectal bleeding and bloody stools
- Skin lumps or sores (ulcers)
- Swollen gums
Treatment:
No specific diet has been shown to improve or worsen symptoms in Crohn's disease. Specific food problems may vary from person to person.
Certain types of foods may worsen diarrhea and gas symptoms. The problem is more likely during periods when symptoms are present. Possible changes you can make to your diet include:
- Eat small amounts of food throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water (drink small amounts often throughout the day).
- Avoid high-fiber foods (bran, beans, nuts, seeds, and popcorn).
- Avoid fatty, greasy or fried foods and sauces (butter, margarine, and heavy cream).
- If your body does not digest dairy foods well, limit dairy products. Try low-lactose cheeses, such as Swiss and cheddar, and an enzyme product, such as Lactaid, to help break down lactose.
- Avoid foods that you know cause you gas, such as beans, spicy food, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, raw fruit juices and fruits -- especially citrus fruits.
Medicines that may be prescribed include:
- Aminosalicylates (5-ASAs) are medicines that help control mild to moderate symptoms. Some forms of the drug are taken by mouth; others must be given rectally.
- Corticosteroids (prednisone and methylprednisolone) are used to treat moderate to severe Crohn's disease. They may be taken by mouth or inserted into the rectum.
- Medicines such as azathioprine or 6-mercaptopurine quiet the immune system's reaction.
- Antibiotics may be prescribed for abscesses or fistulas.
- Biologic therapy is used to treat patients with severe Crohn's disease that does not respond to any other types of medication. Medicines in this group include Infliximab (Remicade) and adalimumab (Humira), certolizumab (Cimzia), and natalizumab (Tysabri).
PubMed Health. A service of the National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health.
A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia. Atlanta (GA): A.D.A.M.; 2011. A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia.
Crohn's disease
Inflammatory bowel disease - Crohn's disease; Regional enteritis; Ileitis; Granulomatous ileocolitis; IBD- Crohn's disease
Last reviewed: December 13, 2010.
Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum (anus).
See also: Ulcerative colitis
Normally, the immune system helps protect the body, but with Crohn's disease the immune system can't tell the difference between normal body tissue and foreign substances. The result is an overactive immune response that leads to chronic inflammation. This is called an autoimmune disorder.
People with Crohn's disease have ongoing (chronic) inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. Crohn's disease may occur in any area of the digestive tract. There can be healthy patches of tissue between diseased areas. The inflammation causes the intestinal wall to become thick.
There are different types of Crohn's disease, depending on the part of the gastrointestinal tract that is affected. Crohn's disease may involve the small intestine, the large intestine, the rectum, or the mouth.
A person's genes and environmental factors seem to play a role in the development of Crohn's disease. The body may be overreacting to normal bacteria in the intestines.
The disease may occur at any age, but it usually occurs in people between ages 15 - 35. Risk factors include:
The main symptoms of Crohn's disease are:
This disease may also alter the results of the following tests:
No specific diet has been shown to improve or worsen symptoms in Crohn's disease. Specific food problems may vary from person to person.
You should eat a well-balanced, healthy diet. It is important for you to get enough calories, protein, and essential nutrients from a variety of food groups.
Certain types of foods may worsen diarrhea and gas symptoms. The problem is more likely during periods when symptoms are present. Possible changes you can make to your diet include:
Ask your doctor about extra vitamins and minerals you may need:
You may feel worried, embarrassed, or even sad and depressed about having a bowel accident. Other stressful events in your life, such as moving, a job loss, or the loss of a loved one can cause digestive problems.
Ask your doctor or nurse for tips on how to manage your stress.
MEDICATIONS
You can take medication to treat very bad diarrhea. Loperamide (Imodium) can be bought without a prescription. Always talk to your doctor or nurse before using these drugs.
Other medicines to help with symptoms include:
Medicines that may be prescribed include:
If medicines do not work, a type of surgery called bowel resection may be needed to remove a damaged or diseased part of the intestine or to drain an abscess. However, removing the diseased portion of the intestine does not cure the condition.
Patients who have Crohn's disease that does not respond to medications may need surgery, especially when there are complications such as:
Websites With Awesome Info:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001295/ (Where my info in this blog came from)
www.ccfa.org/info/about/crohns
www.mayoclinic.com/health/crohns-disease/DS00104
www.med.umich.edu/Crohns_Disease
www.crohnsonline.com
www.learnaboutcd.com
See also: Ulcerative colitis
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
While the exact cause of Crohn's disease is unknown, the condition is linked to a problem with the body's immune system response.Normally, the immune system helps protect the body, but with Crohn's disease the immune system can't tell the difference between normal body tissue and foreign substances. The result is an overactive immune response that leads to chronic inflammation. This is called an autoimmune disorder.
People with Crohn's disease have ongoing (chronic) inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. Crohn's disease may occur in any area of the digestive tract. There can be healthy patches of tissue between diseased areas. The inflammation causes the intestinal wall to become thick.
There are different types of Crohn's disease, depending on the part of the gastrointestinal tract that is affected. Crohn's disease may involve the small intestine, the large intestine, the rectum, or the mouth.
A person's genes and environmental factors seem to play a role in the development of Crohn's disease. The body may be overreacting to normal bacteria in the intestines.
The disease may occur at any age, but it usually occurs in people between ages 15 - 35. Risk factors include:
- Family history of Crohn's disease
- Jewish ancestry
- Smoking
Symptoms
Symptoms depend on what part of the gastrointestinal tract is affected. Symptoms range from mild to severe, and can come and go with periods of flare-ups.The main symptoms of Crohn's disease are:
- Crampy abdominal (belly area) pain
- Fever
- Fatigue
- Loss of appetite
- Pain with passing stool (tenesmus)
- Persistent, watery diarrhea
- Unintentional weight loss
- Constipation
- Eye inflammation
- Fistulas (usually around the rectal area, may cause draining of pus, mucus, or stools)
- Joint pain
- Liver inflammation
- Mouth ulcers
- Rectal bleeding and bloody stools
- Skin lumps or sores (ulcers)
- Swollen gums
Signs and tests
A physical examination may reveal an abdominal mass or tenderness, skin rash, swollen joints, or mouth ulcers. Tests to diagnose Crohn's disease include:- Barium enema
- Colonoscopy
- Computed tomography (CT scan) of the abdomen
- Endoscopy, including capsule endoscopy
- Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of the abdomen
- Sigmoidoscopy
- Enteroscopy
- Upper GI series
This disease may also alter the results of the following tests:
- Albumin
- C-reactive protein
- Erythrocyte sedimentation rate
- Fecal fat
- Hemoglobin
- Liver function tests
- White blood cell count
Treatment
DIET AND NUTRITIONNo specific diet has been shown to improve or worsen symptoms in Crohn's disease. Specific food problems may vary from person to person.
You should eat a well-balanced, healthy diet. It is important for you to get enough calories, protein, and essential nutrients from a variety of food groups.
Certain types of foods may worsen diarrhea and gas symptoms. The problem is more likely during periods when symptoms are present. Possible changes you can make to your diet include:
- Eat small amounts of food throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water (drink small amounts often throughout the day).
- Avoid high-fiber foods (bran, beans, nuts, seeds, and popcorn).
- Avoid fatty, greasy or fried foods and sauces (butter, margarine, and heavy cream).
- If your body does not digest dairy foods well, limit dairy products. Try low-lactose cheeses, such as Swiss and cheddar, and an enzyme product, such as Lactaid, to help break down lactose.
- Avoid foods that you know cause you gas, such as beans, spicy food, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, raw fruit juices and fruits -- especially citrus fruits.
Ask your doctor about extra vitamins and minerals you may need:
- Iron supplements (if you are anemic)
- Calcium and vitamin D supplements to help keep your bones strong
- Vitamin B12 to prevent anemia
You may feel worried, embarrassed, or even sad and depressed about having a bowel accident. Other stressful events in your life, such as moving, a job loss, or the loss of a loved one can cause digestive problems.
Ask your doctor or nurse for tips on how to manage your stress.
MEDICATIONS
You can take medication to treat very bad diarrhea. Loperamide (Imodium) can be bought without a prescription. Always talk to your doctor or nurse before using these drugs.
Other medicines to help with symptoms include:
- Fiber supplements may help your symptoms. You can buy psyllium powder (Metamucil) or methylcellulose (Citrucel) without a prescription. Ask your doctor about these products.
- Always talk to your doctor before using any laxative medicines.
- You may use acetaminophen (Tylenol) for mild pain.
- Drugs such as aspirin, ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin), or naproxen (Aleve, Naprosyn) may make your symptoms worse.
Medicines that may be prescribed include:
- Aminosalicylates (5-ASAs) are medicines that help control mild to moderate symptoms. Some forms of the drug are taken by mouth; others must be given rectally.
- Corticosteroids (prednisone and methylprednisolone) are used to treat moderate to severe Crohn's disease. They may be taken by mouth or inserted into the rectum.
- Medicines such as azathioprine or 6-mercaptopurine quiet the immune system's reaction.
- Antibiotics may be prescribed for abscesses or fistulas.
- Biologic therapy is used to treat patients with severe Crohn's disease that does not respond to any other types of medication. Medicines in this group include Infliximab (Remicade) and adalimumab (Humira), certolizumab (Cimzia), and natalizumab (Tysabri).
If medicines do not work, a type of surgery called bowel resection may be needed to remove a damaged or diseased part of the intestine or to drain an abscess. However, removing the diseased portion of the intestine does not cure the condition.
Patients who have Crohn's disease that does not respond to medications may need surgery, especially when there are complications such as:
- Bleeding (hemorrhage)
- Failure to grow (in children)
- Fistulas (abnormal connections between the intestines and another area of the body)
- Infections (abscesses)
- Narrowing (strictures) of the intestine
Websites With Awesome Info:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001295/ (Where my info in this blog came from)
www.ccfa.org/info/about/crohns
www.mayoclinic.com/health/crohns-disease/DS00104
www.med.umich.edu/Crohns_Disease
www.crohnsonline.com
www.learnaboutcd.com
Gotta Get Worse Before You Get Better?
Hey, here's the update:
Northwestern called last week and said to make a clear diagnosis, Dr Burt's pathologists needed new biopsies. Apparently, they had made their previous decision on biopsies from 2007. At that time, my disease was not as advanced as it is now. Also the biopsies from 2007 just were not clear enough to make a definite diagnosis. Dr. Holt said my blood work confirms Crohn's disease, but the biopsies aren't 100% Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis.
So in other words, we had to perform another colonoscopy this week in order to collect new biopsies. Here's what happened: The inflammation was so bad they had complications getting the scope through causing additional bleeding (i've had intestinal bleeding already for almost 2 years). Also, because it is so diseased, getting biopsies also caused alot more bleeding. Dr. Holt said it hasn't spread which is good, but the diseased part of my colon (the lower part) has gotten alot worse. I'm in pretty bad shape. I'm still hurting, five days later, from the colonoscopy..this has never happened before. Dr. Holt said that it still looks most likely like Crohn's in there but there's still an uncertainty about it because i'm so borderline..hopefully Northwestern will be able to figure it out and help me.
They put me back on Prednisone..UGH! I'm finally losing the weight I gained on all these steroids and from the TNP and they put me right back on the steroids! But I know I need them, even if they offer me the slightest help. They also took me off of the antibiotics I was taking for the C Diff...which is frustrating because I'm not really sure how they're planning on getting rid of it and well for obvious reasons...like the intolerable symptoms, complete colon destruction or death lol, I would like to be fighting this absolutely awful infection.
Before going back for the procedure, i had a lot of time to sit and pray. I didn't know how to pray. No one wants bad health. It hurts to hear I'm getting worse, of course. However, unless i'm really bad, no one will offer me any help to get better and in a way, I hoped my tests results would finally confirm how bad I feel. So before going in, I prayed not for good news, not for bad news, but for answers that would allow me to get the help I need to get better. And I feel like that's exactly what He gave me that day.
Im going to california soon. I'm sure with my health, I won't be able to stay for long, not being away from the family that's taking care of me and keeping me pushing forward. But maybe some sightseeing will boost my spirits...we'll see...i'm hoping you will all pray and ask God to guide me through this very unclear time in my life.
Northwestern called last week and said to make a clear diagnosis, Dr Burt's pathologists needed new biopsies. Apparently, they had made their previous decision on biopsies from 2007. At that time, my disease was not as advanced as it is now. Also the biopsies from 2007 just were not clear enough to make a definite diagnosis. Dr. Holt said my blood work confirms Crohn's disease, but the biopsies aren't 100% Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis.
So in other words, we had to perform another colonoscopy this week in order to collect new biopsies. Here's what happened: The inflammation was so bad they had complications getting the scope through causing additional bleeding (i've had intestinal bleeding already for almost 2 years). Also, because it is so diseased, getting biopsies also caused alot more bleeding. Dr. Holt said it hasn't spread which is good, but the diseased part of my colon (the lower part) has gotten alot worse. I'm in pretty bad shape. I'm still hurting, five days later, from the colonoscopy..this has never happened before. Dr. Holt said that it still looks most likely like Crohn's in there but there's still an uncertainty about it because i'm so borderline..hopefully Northwestern will be able to figure it out and help me.
They put me back on Prednisone..UGH! I'm finally losing the weight I gained on all these steroids and from the TNP and they put me right back on the steroids! But I know I need them, even if they offer me the slightest help. They also took me off of the antibiotics I was taking for the C Diff...which is frustrating because I'm not really sure how they're planning on getting rid of it and well for obvious reasons...like the intolerable symptoms, complete colon destruction or death lol, I would like to be fighting this absolutely awful infection.
Before going back for the procedure, i had a lot of time to sit and pray. I didn't know how to pray. No one wants bad health. It hurts to hear I'm getting worse, of course. However, unless i'm really bad, no one will offer me any help to get better and in a way, I hoped my tests results would finally confirm how bad I feel. So before going in, I prayed not for good news, not for bad news, but for answers that would allow me to get the help I need to get better. And I feel like that's exactly what He gave me that day.
Im going to california soon. I'm sure with my health, I won't be able to stay for long, not being away from the family that's taking care of me and keeping me pushing forward. But maybe some sightseeing will boost my spirits...we'll see...i'm hoping you will all pray and ask God to guide me through this very unclear time in my life.
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