Another Day of Me and Maybe More?

Originally this blog was started to help me process every thing I was going through with my stem cell transplant. Then after it all calmed down, i stopped writing. I automatically assumed I had nothing anyone would want to hear.

Im learning now, I need to write for me and in the process, I hope someone reads and relates. My greatest wish is that someone can learn from my journey, from my pain, and it can help them. We all know Crohn's doesn't just affect the body, but it alters the mind as well. Sometimes all we need is someone else who gets it. You know, REALLY GETS IT!

I hope that as I start back writing more often, God will give me the words that you may need to hear.

As for today, remember you are special and loved. Crohnies United!

May 2018

I have been having a Crohn's flare lately and am going to try some Rowasa. I'm in so much pain and bloated.

I'm anemic. I don't really know why but I am. I can't take iron supplements because I just can't digest them. I don't know what to do. I eat as much as I can. I take gummy multivitamins but it's not enough. This is probably why I'm sooo exhausted. Not to mention I'm trying to quit caffeine and smoking. Lord, help me.

My arthritis is so so but restless legs is killing me and keeping me up. I see my rheumatologist in a few weeks so i guess I'll be bringing it up to him then. The stelara injections seem to help a good bit of the pain but I still get searing pain up my back and in my hands so that's something we still need to work on.

I already take antidepressants and anxiety meds but sometimes I go through rough patches where I feel so down for no reason at all. It's really to be expected with all I've been through. I'm always terrified of going somewhere and being sick or in constant pain. It's very PTSD-like. It's a panicky dread of leaving the house. If any of you feel this related to your IBD, please know you aren't alone. And I promise, you'll get through it!

Uneventful is What I Worked For

I haven't been posting as much because my life has become rather uneventful. As I was preparing to go to bed, it hit me. I worked hard for this lifestyle. Heck, I worked hard for life.

My life may be boring and mediocre now but I wouldn't have it any other way!

For over 13 years, my life has been Hell. I was raped twice. I withstood verbal, sexual and physical abuse from a boyfriend for 5 years. I survived his attempted murder. I was diagnosed with Crohn's and fought hard to get better, when really I was fighting a losing battle. I was dying when I went through a stem cell transplant over 600 miles from home. Almost died during that as well. I have suffered anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD,  and suicide attempts.

It's been a long, difficult journey but look at me now. I'm overall pretty healthy, I'm the happiest I have ever been, and I am stronger in my faith more than ever before.

Because of the difficulties, I can now celebrate all my wins, regardless of size. I celebrate being able to go to the beach without rushing to find a bathroom.  I celebrate walking around in the park with no pain. I celebrate not having to worry if I'm going to survive my next beating.  I even celebrate getting to eat grapes without winding up in a hospital bed.

Life may be ordinary and uneventful, but, man, it's amazing!!

Yep I Got That Too

Since my blog is about my journey in Crohn's disease and my stem cell transplant, many of my followers and even friends, don't know all the other health issues I carry with me. I posted below pics of other health problems I have to deal with on a daily basis. Some have information attached,  some just state the problem. And some, as you will see, are very personal and this is the first time I have ever come out publicly. You will know what I mean when you get there. The point of this post is not to "show off" all my problems and definitely not for sympathy. I'm merely giving you a bit of insight in to the world of, well, me. And I hope some of them can help some of my readers feel more relatable and even give them more confidence and courage to seek medical attention for problems they may have as well! So here it goes!

Side note: I am seriously diagnosed with these issues. I am by far not a hypochondriac.  I would trade anything in the world to not have the health problems I have, but this is the life I've been given and there's no point in denying any of it. And if anyone of my fellow crohnies or loved ones of Crohn's patients know, many of these illnesses come hand in hand with autoimmune diseases such as Crohn's disease.

TIA plus anxiety equals NUMB

I did have a mild TIA. Basically a "mini stroke". Fortunately, they clear up on their own but they are warning signs of a more serious stroke, which is why it's important to check for clots and neurological damage.  I had a CT scan of my brain and all is good! So no worries there! Anxiety just made it a little worse. In case you didn't know,  anxiety can cause numbness and tingling in your hands and feet. But they have me some pain meds and sent me home and I'm doing fine now. I officially can feel my left arm again lol

Now I just finished watching the rest of Robocop with Tim and am currently in the middle of Transcendence. I leave for Chicago tomorrow evening so we are getting in as much quality time as we can for tonight.  He goes to work at 1pm tomorrow and I won't see him again until he picks me up from the airport Thursday morning :( im going to miss him. Crazy how only a few days away from the one you love feels like eternity!  I know, corny! Lol

The doctors in Chicago were supposed to provide funding for 2 nights while I'm there.  However, there are no available rooms. I suggested last week I would stay near the airport and travel via teain in to town each day. ..well they never booked the room!! There is now literally only one hotel room left!! And it's in Elk Grove!  Outside of Chicago!! I had to book it myself and am basically going to demand reimbursement.  I don't see why they wouldn't since they were going to fund 2 nights anyway and I booked an even cheaper hotel.  Any suggestions on how I should go about this with them?? I sent an email to Dr. Burt's go to person so say a prayer it all works out!

Off to finish the movie and get some sleep! God bless everyone and goodnight!